Friday, May 20, 2011
Rules for a Happy Marriage ...
We have had this posted on our refrigerator for eleven years now ...
Rules for a Happy Marriage
1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once every day try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your life's partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit and ask for forgiveness.
10. It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.
I would say that we do our best to follow most of the "rules" most of the time. But, I wouldn't necessarily say that is what has kept us so close. I think the things that make our marriage happy are:
1. We are best friends. The best advice I could give to anyone would be to marry your best friend. Love and lust and passion comes and goes. Beauty (on the outside) fades. Bodies change. But, if you are best friends, you will love each other through anything.
2. We respect each other completely. I fully believe that each member of a family has its role. That's how things work together ~ everyone doing their part. In our family, we have chosen to do it the old fashioned way: my wonderful husband works hard each day to provide me with the chance to stay at home and educate and raise our daughters. I, in turn, keep his home in order, make sure he has deodorant and toilet paper when he needs it, make sure he has healthy (and yummy) meals to keep him strong, make sure his children are happy and healthy. We each do our own part, but we fully respect the other's role. And, we each know that we could not do what we do if it were not for the hard work and dedication of the other. We each love each other for what we do. We are a true team. We have mutual respect.
3. We have fun. We love life. We have FAITH ~ in each other, in God, in life, in love. We talk. A lot! We learn together. We read together. We discuss God and spirituality and nutrition and love and our girls and our future and education and our dreams. We really listen to each other (most of the time, lol).
4. We play games. No, really. We play lots of games together ~ Yahtzee, card games, backgammon ... and we love it!
5. We do things for each other without expectation. We do things for each other out of love. We help each other out. We want the other person to be happy and have things as easy as possible.
6. We spend time together. We value our time together. We want to spend time together. We are not each other's ball-and-chain, we are each other's best friend, so we want to come home to each other. We enjoy each other's company. We value each other's opinions.
7. We are polar opposites on the silly stuff, but are perfectly matched where it matters most. He likes dark chocolate, frozen, breaking his teeth. I like milk chocolate, soft and melting in my mouth. He likes really ripe, yellow, soft and sweet bananas. I like them to be firm with a little green left on them. He likes margaritas without salt. I must have a salted rim. But, when it matters, we are in perfect sync with each other. We both love God with all of our hearts. We both place family above all else in our list of priorities. Neither of us value material things. We both believe with ever fiber of our being in the home education of our children. We both value all living things and make conscious choices in our eating and living. We both love Mother Earth and do our best to tread lightly on her. We are both positive, loving people who are full of LIGHT. We both value the sanctity of marriage and know that we are in this together, for the long haul, for eternity.
I am only 34 years old and already so many of my friends’ marriages have ended. It is sad. I wish that I could bottle up what I have and pass it around. I would send it out like crazy. I want nothing more than for those I love and care about to be this lucky. Really, I do. But, I cannot bottle it up. All I can do is pray. Pray that each of the people I care about finds that one person on Earth that they can really be themselves with and will love every bit of them for it. All I can do is suggest that you marry your best friend and settle for no less. Find your soul mate ~ you know, the other half of your being. You know, how God created ONE being, split it in two and set you out in the world to find each other. Find your other half, your best friend. Marry them ... and spend eternity feeling as blessed as I do.